'When You Don't Know The Rules' - A Therapeutic Parenting Story
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When You Don’t Know the Rules is a beautifully illustrated, therapeutic rhyming story designed to support families welcoming a new foster or adopted child into their home.
Told through the eyes of a child already in your home, the story gently explores the confusion and questions that can arise when a new child arrives and doesn’t yet know the house rules or boundaries.
This course offers parents and carers a thoughtful way to prepare their own children—birth, adopted, or previously fostered—for the emotional and practical realities of sharing their home with someone new.
Through this story, families can reflect on why rules matter, how to set kind but firm boundaries, and why understanding behaviour is often more important than correcting it.
With engaging illustrations, therapeutic prompts, and scenario-based questions, this course helps you:
- Reassure children about their role in welcoming someone new
- Explore empathy and patience when behaviour feels confusing
- Reinforce shared routines and expectations with warmth and clarity
- Reflect on how to make your home feel safe and predictable for everyone
Whether read before a new child comes to live with you or used as a gentle reminder after they arrive, this course helps deepen understanding and strengthen family bonds—one page at a time.
If you're on our Free plan, you can buy the course if you wish.
If you're on any other plan, this course is included in your subscription.
If you decide to join our Paid plan, you'll start off with a 3-day trial before you are charged. You can complete this course during that period and download your certificate.
Another excellent short story that can be used for other children in the household and great ideas. A good reminder of the difficulties a new child may have coming into a new home.
deborah
Great reminder for children and adults that the new foster child is dealing with a lot of emotions and they don't always come out in a positive way....anxiety can come across as anger. Helps everyone to regulate their emotions.
Margaret
If you're a foster carer or other professional working with children, this certificate is a record of your Continuous Professional Development (CPD).
CPD Minutes: 20
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The story encourages birth, adopted and foster children to express feelings, ask questions, and make sense of change in their home. By prompting reflection and open dialogue, the book helps families listen to and understand the child's perspective.
The story models positive relationship work: no shouting, shared making of house rules, gentle correction, and co-play. This supports carers to build healthy connections and cooperative behaviour rather than punitive reactions.
When the foster child hides under the desk in fear, carers respond with patience and emotional safety—not punishment. This validates feelings and supports regulation, reinforcing that emotional wellbeing is protected.
Emphasis on routines—bedtimes, mealtimes, hygiene—and responding to mistakes support emotional and practical wellbeing. These consistent routines create predictability and containment for children.
The story highlights how the home is arranged with clearly communicated routines (shoes, meals, etc.), supporting the child to learn and adapt. It affirms that the house is safe, structured, and caring.
This story is ideal for use before or during a new arrival. It prepares both existing children and the foster child with clear expectations and shared understanding—reducing anxiety and supporting smoother adjustment.
